Friday, January 4, 2013

It's All About Love.

I'm not sure why I want to live in a Tiny House, exactly. In fact, I'm rather sure in an ideal situation, I'd pick a Small House over a Tiny House any day. Except for the I-Don't-Have-Land fact and the Mobility-or-Wouldn't-It-Be-Nice-To-Move-Without-Packing-Your-Shit? fact. Not to mention, the I-Don't-Have-Money fact. Next to those factoids, the I-Don't-Have-Tools-or-Building-Skills fact seems to fade away into mootness. Or maybe that's not a word. If not, it should be. In any case, I don't give a damn. I'm not in the mood to stumble on the "I-don'ts and the I-can'ts. Particularly at this time of the year--it's still way too close to New Years. Or at this time of my life--it's way to close to that I-Can-Feel-The-Finite-Nature-of-Time-Passing thing.

There's something about distilling your life down to its essence that is very appealing to me. I like the simplicity of it. The cleanliness of it. The spaciousness of it all.

For awhile I worried a Tiny House sent the wrong signal to the Universe as a whole and to my community in general. I was afraid it signaled I had decided to be alone. Forever. Resignedly. In a handcrafted hermitage. Something like that Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe, only with fewer kids and a composting toilet. You know, one step away from a Cat Lady and definitely Odd. It is a little weird to think, "I want to create more space for life in my life. More space for me. More space for my life," and to have the response to that impulse be cutting my square footage down by some 85%. Choosing 120 or so square feet doesn't appear to be the most inclusive choice available.

"Hi, I read this book on manifesting your soul mate and they suggested emptying out half your closet to create room because the Universe loves a vacuum and so I did, and then I moved into a space about the size of your closet. It just seemed to make so much sense. Somehow."

I'm looking around my current place, trying to figure out what to release into the wild beyond, so I can move into micro space. It turns out, even though I don't have a lot of stuff accumulated, a whole lot of stuff is still going to have to move on out the door. It's a bit daunting, actually. Letting go of things isn't that hard. I've done quite a bit of that over the last couple of decades. There are some unique issues that come with playing with this level of transition and transformation during the second half of life. Namely, mementos, photos, and books. I'm still trying to figure out how to manage this without letting go of any of that.

The more I feel into this desire to go small in order to go large in life, the more it starts to feel like it's all about love. It starts on the physical and material level in the distillation of one's belongings down to only those you truly truly love, what is truly beautiful and embracing. Healing. It starts in the physical, but it moves on to a more energetic space from there. What happens when life is emptied of the extraneous? What comes in to fill up that space? Living Tiny on the physical plane frees up so much time, for one thing. And energy. There's simply a lot less attention needed to maintain life on the Tiny side of the hill. When I dream into the Tiny Space to Be, I sense it as a cradle of consciousness. A form of sacred space. A freedom from distractions. As a freedom to Be. An invitation to spend higher quality time with both myself and with others.

I've come to the conclusion my Tiny House desires and my Tiny House experiment are really about an invitation to love. More loving time with myself, more creative time, more loving time with others. A deeper awareness of the world around me. So that's the new equation for today. Tiny Space = Big Love.

I'll probably noodle that whole thing through again tomorrow and get an entirely different answer, but Love will serve me for today.

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